A Roundtable Discussion about Responsibility, Choice, and Discovery

Several years ago, at a meeting at the Lifespring Central Office, president John Hanley moderated a discussion about responsibility, choice, and discovery with several leaders in the Lifespring organization. Excerpts of that penetrating and thought-provoking conversation are presented here.

John: The questions we're going to be asking are, "What is responsibility?" and "How is my life more satisfying and more alive as a result of experiencing responsibility on a day-to-day basis?" It's so simple to give a canned version of what responsibility is, but what I'm interested in is how real is this? What application does it have in our lives?

Lynn: For me, responsibility is about being at cause in everything that happens. I see it as a rippling effect, like a stone dropped in a pond--that anything I do affects everything else in both my immediate world and the larger world. It's an experience of knowing that I'm creating what's outside of me.

John: Are there times when we act responsibly and times when we don't?

Lynn: Yes, but the truth is that I'm responsible about everything.

John: How do you know that? Where is it written that we are responsible?

Lynn: There's no law that says we are, but when I am responsible, I notice a difference in my experience. Things flow more easily, there's not as much stress, conflict, or finding fault with other people and events. In my experience of being responsible, I recognize that I'm not a victim. Life isn't about other people doing things to me.

John: If things are bad, what value is there in knowing that I may have had something to do with it?

Lynn: When I decide "things are bad," I am in judgment and, therefore, out of my experience. Responsibility is about "seeing" what's there minus my evaluation.

Ed: What I notice in myself and the students that I'm with is that questions like,"Are you responsible?," "Did you cause this?," and "Did you create this?" are really evaluations. At some point, the questions become less important. When that happens, there's no more "How did I set this up?" guilt. Once that point is reached, and I don't think it's reached in all areas of a person's life at once, then the person is freed up to be impactful and is empowered in relationships with other people.

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